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thank you. i needed to hear that. i have had alot of people come down on me and tell me i am an unfit mother because of what happened. and that i dont deserve my kids and that i should have them taken away. well all i can say is people like that need to be very very careful because words have a way of jumping back up and biting u in the butt lol. its just that deep down i still feel the guilt even though i have told myself that i took care of the situation  and i havent fallen into that again . that i should not feel guilt. but then there are those days where i just cant seem to kick the thought ya know its hard. but it really does help to talk about it and to read comments like yours. so know that even if u never thought u have helped someone. know that u helped me. and for that i thank you

yes i did get your comment. it went into my comments space also. yah i am on here as much as i can be i  can understand how u could be up all night . well i hope u r doing well i have to go finish mowing the grass. ahhhh a mothers work is never done . lol

i just wanted to say ty kat. u have no idea how much i needed to hear that. u have me in tears. i know it wasnt directed at me but i found it and am really greatful i did because i have had those feelings before. its really hard when u can only afford so much and then the other parent who is not taking any responsibility shows up maybe once a year if they r lucky but buys them outrageous gifts. and the kids r so happy because they dont normally get those things. it hurts. im the one who is here and loves them and is taking care of them when they r sick. i feed them when they r hungry. he doesnt even care enought to remember their birthdays. he only comes to visit them when his father gets mad and threatens to cut him out of the will whenever he wants him to see them. but anyways sorry about ranting lol. i just wanted to say thanks your post helped me alot

what u say is so true.  i grew up with a mother who (although she thought it was protecting us) she would just hide in her room when she was upset. and i know how much we were not fooled and how much it worried and hurt us to know that she was upset. it made me feel terrible. i on the other hand do ask my children for a hug and i have a so much better relationship with my children than i did with my mom. u dont have to go into detail there r some things kids dont need to know the details about. but they know how to give u a hug. and there r times i dont know if i would have made it through with out my kids. so people do not underestemate how much a simple hug or the words i love u from and too your children can make things better and put the things that are really truely important back into perspective.

hello i just wanted to say that i too would like to learn of any ligitamate work from home companies that u can actually make money at . and if i hear of any dream i will definatly pass them on to u . would appriciate it if u would do the same. take care hun and good luck.

hello i just wanted to say that i know what your going through. and to hang in there. if i find anything out i will definatly pass it on to you.

Hello my name is cindy and i am a 28 year old mother of four children. I was told about this site by a friend and she told me i should post something on here to see if anyone has any idea of how i can get help. Ok. here goes. 3 years ago i got married to a man who was wonderful to me and my children or so i thought. He was great at least when i was around. Well he took my son to his friends house and my son was 18 months old. mind u he was great to my kids when i was around and they never told me or anyone anything to make us think diferently. well while he was at his friends house he threw my son on top of the car hood and smacked him and was trying to choke him and my hubby's friends neighbor called the cops. I found out about all of this whenever the cops and DCFS showed up. Needless to say i told the cop that they were lucky they got to him before i found out about it or they would have been taking me to jail and my hubby to the morge. ok so here the problem my hubby went to jail and i have moved so that he can not find me and the kids. because after he went to prison he told me when he got out if i didnt take him back he'd kill me. now obviously im not dumb enough to be with him. but i live in illinois and they told me that since he wont file for a divorce i will have to pay for both sides of the divorce. Which obviously is expensive and i cant afford that. so i tried calling land of lincoln legal services who help with divorce for low income family's but they told me that they could not help me because none of my children were fathered by my husband. I need to know if anyone knows what i can do if there are any other places that help. i really want to get a divorce from that monster. I am afraid that if i am still married to him when he gets out he will try to do something. I do not want to have any ties to this man. I am really at my wits end. i have talked to everyone i can think of to find out what to do. which is y my friend told me to try this that maybe there was someone out there that could tell me what i could do. So i thought y not i'll try anything to get rid of him. ok well there it is all in black and white. i also found out after he left and my daughters realized he wasnt coming back they started telling me things he did. my oldest told me that she didnt say anything while he was there because he told her that if she told anyone then he would kill her or hurt me or her sisters or brother. she said one time he came into her room and grabbed her by the throat and held her against the wall choking her and told her that if she told me or anyone he would kill her. i was told he smacked them around when i wasnt there always being told he would hurt or kill them or me if they told. I still live with the guilt to this day. i am there mother i should have known. but there were no marks he knew  how to hurt them so that it wouldnt show. i cry myself to sleep to know that i had no idea that my kids were being treated that way. it hurts me to know those babies had to go through that. they r my children and i love them more than anything. i would lay down my life litterally to save them. i will never forgive myself that this happened. i am afraid to be with anyone else because i am afraid that it happened once and i didnt know it. god help me it will not happen again. i love my children with all of my heart. so please dont think that i am a woman who does not care. because i do. it scares me to think how it could have been so much worse. i would never have been able to make it through if he would have killed one of my children. i hear the song allyssa lies and it kills me to think omg that could have been one of my kids and i would have never known until it was too late it scares me to death it makes me sick. My husband makes me sick. so there it is any help that i could get or any program u know of in my state (illinois,Usa) i would be indebted to u forever if u could help me find a way to get this divorce and finally be free of this monster who has terrorized me and my children. whom we all still fear to this day. thank you and god bless your hearts